Wednesday, March 18, 2020

Last Nurse Standing and the Coronapocalypse


These are odd times. But sometimes crises have their lighter side. My daughter is a part-time ER nurse. She is on maternity leave after bringing our fourth grandchild into this topsy-turvy world, but she texted the family a picture of a March Madnesstype bracket. Here’s her description of it: “My ER coworkers created a ‘Coronageddon Last Nurse Standing’ bracket. If this isn’t indicative of ER nurses’ warped sense of humor, I’m not sure what is. Guess who’s seeded #1? Yours truly! I feel half guilty, half relieved that my maternity leave coincided with this awful pandemic.” Her brother noticed that she got a first-round bye in the bracket. I guess that’s due to the maternity leave. She’s hoping to have several byes in this particular tournament.
Then tonight, while watching a news story suggesting that this virus could be around for a year to eighteen months before there’s a viable vaccine, it occurred to me that by then we could be living in a coronapocalypse world that would have strange parallels to all those awful zombie apocalypse movies. Those who have contracted the virus would be walking around free looking for something to eat, while those who haven’t would be hiding out, avoiding everyone, just trying to survive.
Finally, a coworker sent around an email with a bunch of funny coronavirus memes. Here’s what I thought was the funniest.


Live long and prosper. And wash your hands.

Saturday, March 14, 2020

Streamlining Temple Ordinances


I’ve been thinking about temple ordinances and wondering if we couldn’t streamline some of them without doing damage to what they are intended to accomplish, or what they actually can accomplish.
The first question that came to mind concerns the nature of the endowment and the two very different groups of recipients for whom it is intended. The endowment, as currently structured, divides nicely into two separate elements: instruction and covenants. It is currently aimed at both the living and the dead. It seems to me, however, that the instruction portion of the endowment is necessary only for the living. If the dead need instruction, it seems to me that this could and should be given on the other side of the veil. The proxies sit for a good 40 minutes or so listening to instruction that they have heard before, many times. Yes, repetition is important. But to hear the same instruction every time you do an endowment for an expired human seems largely unnecessary. Perhaps every couple of years a proxy could sit through an endowment session for the living that would include the full instruction portion. That should be repetition enough.
The second portion of the endowment, the covenants, might also be streamlined a bit. I’ve wondered why, as a proxy, I commit on behalf of a long-deceased person presumably living in the spirit world to live the law of chastity. Unless the spirit world is a lot different than what I imagine it to be, this law is probably not very relevant there. It is important for mortals, as part of our mortal test, so to speak. But in the hereafter? The same goes for consecration. Is there a lot of spiritual property in the spirit world that some spirits tend to hoard? Now, time and talents I understand. Those should carry the same weight in the hereafter as they do here. But I can’t help but wonder how some of the covenants apply to disembodies spirits.
The history of the endowment is both fascinating and rather murky. From what I have read, the endowment has not only some obvious ties to freemasonry but also a connection to polygamy. It seems Joseph was very concerned about keeping plural marriage a secret, and the group he knew that was most adept at keeping secrets was the freemasons. So, it makes sense that he would borrow some of their methods for ensuring secrecy among his followers, particularly concerning a practice that was sure to cause an uproar if it became public knowledge. Of course, it did become public knowledge, and it did cause an uproar.
I’m wondering, since the need for secrecy is not such a pressing matter now, whether we couldn’t trim some of the secrecy-oriented elements from the endowment without really doing any damage to what it is intended to accomplish. Some of these elements have already been pruned out. Why not make a few more deletions that nobody really needs in today’s church?
Maybe another day I’ll tackle washings and anointings and sealings. I understand sealing spouses together, but I’ve always wondered what exactly is accomplished by sealing children to parents. I’m sure my children don’t want to be living under my roof in the hereafter. I certainly don’t want to be living under my parents’ roof. The sealing must therefore be mostly symbolic. But if it’s just a formality to cement family relationships, isn’t that much better accomplished by working at cultivating strong relationships (read friendships) than by forming some sort of multigenerational chain? I imagine that if my children want to associate with me in the great beyond, they will. If they don’t, then no sealing ordinance can force them to.