Failed Florida
congressional candidate Gina Sosa is probably looking for a rock to hide under
about now. Her question doesn’t even deserve an answer. The more appropriate
question is, “What kind of high school boy has
done this?” What sort of person abuses other people? And why?
I’m not rendering
judgment on Brett Kavanaugh. The accusations are serious and should be taken
so. In fact, they should be investigated by the FBI. Which makes one wonder why
the GOP is so reluctant to allow this logical and reasonable solution to the he
said/she said dilemma they are facing. And the attempts by many Republican defenders of
Trump’s Supreme Court nominee, including Utah’s own Orrin Hatch, to either
dismiss the accusations or try to explain them away, shine a bright light on
the reason why so many assaulted women never go public with their stories. They
are afraid they will not be believed. These attempts to minimize the
seriousness of the accusations make one wonder what the response would be if
the shoe were on the other foot. What if the nominee were a liberal and the
accusers were conservative? I’d like to hear Orrin Hatch’s answer to that
question.
But if the
accusations are true, we do need to ask ourselves what sort of person would
engage in this sort of behavior? Obviously, such a person would view other
individuals as objects, not as people, not as human beings with feelings, a
sense of dignity, and free will. We call this dehumanization. Can such a person
simply “grow up,” become a very different type of individual, and be trusted
implicitly with great power over the lives of others? Or do some aspects of
this malignancy linger?
I don’t know the
answer to these questions. But the question of what is “normal” for high school
boys took me back many years to my own high school experience. If you knew me
in high school, you wouldn’t think of me as the type of student who would likely
be the victim of abusive behavior. For starters, I am male and white. (Not that
white males can’t be abused.) But I was also senior class president, starting
guard on the basketball team, and class co-valedictorian with my good friend
Tad. I had lots of friends and didn’t ever feel picked on. Except for one
evening near the end of my junior year.
Sometime after
the student body and class officer elections, the graduating senior class
officers hosted a party for the new senior class officers. We had dinner at
Oaklawn Park, as I recall. The idea was to give the new officers some training
and help us understand some of our responsibilities. I don’t really remember
much about the evening. It’s been 45 years, after all. I couldn’t tell you what
we ate or what sorts of things we talked about. I don’t recall who exactly was
there, besides the two class presidencies. If I had to guess, I would say the
student council for each of the two classes also attended.
What I do
remember, very vividly, was what happened at the end of the party. For some
reason, the graduating senior class officers decided that we needed to be
“initiated.” That’s one term for what is now generally called hazing. For our
initiation as new class officers, our predecessors had procured a fire
extinguisher and filled it with beer. They thought it would be funny if they
sprayed us with beer. This was Utah, so none of us drank the beer. We just got
showered with it. Mildly annoying, but nothing more than a prank, I thought.
Unfortunately,
that wasn’t the end of the initiation. They had also procured some rotten goose
eggs. These were large and extremely smelly, and these high school seniors
thought it would be fun to smash those eggs all over us juniors. But their plan
had one flaw in it. As I mentioned above, I was a starting guard on the
basketball team, and I was lightning quick. With a large field of grass at my
disposal, no five of them could lay a hand on me. I ran circles around them
until they got tired. Then they played their trump card. “If you don’t let us
catch you tonight, we’ll get you at school tomorrow.” Understanding exactly how
embarrassing and awkward that would be, I allowed them to catch me. They
proceeded to stuff rotten goose eggs down my pants and smash them. It was
gross, to put it in 1970s terms. And cleaning up was disgusting.
Now, I don’t want
to draw any sort of equivalence between this hazing incident and sexual
assault. They are not even in the same area code. But there are some
similarities. Both hazing and sexual assault are forms of abuse. They are
humiliating, dehumanizing experiences. The perpetrators of both have no concern
for the dignity or free will of the victims. The intent is to harm the victim
emotionally, if not physically, or to gratify some internal craving for power
over others.
I don’t think I
suffered any long-term damage from the incident. But, as you can see, I have
never forgotten what happened that evening, even though I don't recall ever really talking about it. It was something I probably just wanted to forget. But I haven't. I’ve forgotten a lot of things
about high school, both pleasant and unpleasant, but I doubt I’ll ever forget
this experience. And this is probably common with all victims of abuse. There
are psychological explanations for this. But I wonder if those graduating
senior class officers, the perpetrators, remember the incident. I would bet
they don’t. And they were sober. But I do wonder what sort of people they are
now. I haven’t kept in touch. After that experience, I had no interest in ever
seeing them again. I hope the best for them, but still I have to wonder.